17- hey love, you rearranged my world

hey there love

it’s been a while since we’ve spoken

I hope all is well and your spirit isn't broken

I hope you are laughing and creating these days

your voice broke me out of my haze

instantly

I was and still am amazed

in my absence away from you I’ve learned the hard way 

being everywhere but where my feet are

I think of you and it grounds me

hey love 

It’s been a while since I’ve said your name

I know what it feels like to restart 

what it means to sacrifice 

to be open

I mean completely exposed 

to step outside of myself

you teach me to release my shoulders,

to release shame

old fears ya know,

dead weight.

it makes me sit up straight 

do you still practice l.i.f.e. on your principles love?

I hope you take it in doses because I know you feel everything deeply

and get overwhelmed rather quickly

I am sorry I could not step and grow up when you needed me as I needed you

I failed you by telling half truths

cowardice before your greatness, how embarrassing

karma comes around and I fear what my repercussions will be

death before dishonor so I went to the tree

and I should have told you daily

how absolutely glorious and ravishing and enthralling you are but that is the least interesting thing about you

it’s the way you light up with a new idea and you’re able to pull it

out of your head and into your hands

you perform alchemy

my love

thank you for changing me

I love the way you lead me

heal me

to see the past, present and future and feel it’s soft touch

seeing what was labeled as fantastical yet not fantasy because it and you are

tangible

haveable 

and grabbable

you have cleared all illusions

thank you 

with this and the ring

I can't believe you have the ring

you are my heart in human form. nothing will ever replace you.

and so

I know you are real

even in my times of disbelief when I’m dead wrong 

I think of you and

you still greet me with open arms

I breathe easy when you’re with me 

I feel tired in your presence 

my body is calm

you are 

a synonym for peace

you made it easier to sleep

easy to weep

all these emotions leak and you through them you'd tidy, sift and sweep till they squeak

even the ones I dare not speak of nor peek

you provide relief

no communication but the message always manages to reach and teach

through a new perspective you make me see

you bring out the light and joy inside of me

intertwined in our tapestry are we

we are ours

in the wind

in the rain

in the heat of your sun, your flame

earlier in the afternoon

couldn’t hear the bullshit because I was daydreaming of you

when I close my eyes I smile and see

my true friend in faded view

no longer across the room

grew the strength to put on the other shoe

these words are long overdue and next in the queue

I was in love with you. I loved you. And I love you.

you have taught me what it means to have bled and remain open

to do it all over again 

willingly 

with not a hint of bitterness 

you are truly patient

you have taught me the meaning of truth

most importantly 

Of what and how my body and soul felt with the little things you'd do 

you set my heart ablaze

in person, no, I was and in some ways still am full of shame so

I could not face,

the meaning of intimacy to kiss through an embrace

that warmth in the form of you 

asked for by my hand in our last dance

to drop my shoulders 

exhale deeply 

to unpack

to stretch

to rest my head and heart

and feel right at home.

I love you.

and it wasn't and isn't a phase and you don't even know it

everyone you amaze

I know the passion you embody will keep you ablaze

you have a special gift for seeing straight through the haze

a breathtaking smile and from those eyes

who wouldn’t be drunk on your gaze

I'm here to help you see it through

your something bleu

let your magic begin anew

be proud of your vision

a one of one from the 11th month

sagittarius, you aim with such precision

maybe it’s time to pick up the pen

and not write in black but blue

I know you’ll write something special

and rearrange your world

the way you do